The verdict
Every ad leaves with one of three words.
Scores 80–100.
The panel clicked, the algorithm will find it. Put money behind it.
Scores 60–79.
Good bones, specific weaknesses. Paste the rewrites and run it again.
Scores Below 60.
It dies here, on this page — instead of three days into the learning phase.
The roast
Ninety seconds from upload to verdict.
- 01Feed it the ad
- Upload the creative, paste the primary text and headline, answer four questions about your audience, offer, funnel, and KPI. Two minutes, tops.
- 02The panel goes to work
- Five to seven named buyer personas — calibrated to the audience you actually target — react in their own words: click, scroll, or maybe. No manners, no filler.
- 03Walk away with a verdict
- A 0–100 score across seven dimensions, an Andromeda retrieval prediction, and a rewrite for every weakness — ready to paste into Ads Manager.
The panel
Your ad gets judged before your budget does.
These five reactions come from the demo roast above — a fictional inventory-software ad, scored 66. Your panel is rebuilt for every roast, from the audience you describe.
Sunday night reconciling tabs is literally my life, so you had me — then you asked me to start a trial of a tool you never actually showed me.
Dana · Runs a 7-figure home-goods Shopify store
MaybeEvery IMS ad says "real time sync." The last two lied. Show me the Amazon edge cases or I keep scrolling.
Marcus · Wholesale + DTC apparel, burned by two inventory tools
ScrollNo number anywhere — hours saved, oversells prevented, anything. One stat and I would have clicked.
Priya · Supplements brand, lives in her ops dashboard
MaybeI oversold 40 units at Christmas and ate the refunds. The headline about my spreadsheet being afraid is cute, but I need to know this is not another thing to learn.
Tom · Local retailer expanding to online
MaybeFunny headline, clicked for the vibe. Would bounce at a boring signup form though.
Jess · TikTok Shop seller scaling fast
ClickThe fixes
Rewrites you can paste, not advice you have to interpret.
CTA
Trial commitment is too heavy for a problem-aware buyer; sell the next step, not the marriage.
Original
Start your 14-day free trial today.
Rewrite
See your channels in one dashboard — connect Shopify in 4 minutes, no card required.
Why the panel flagged it
"Start your free trial" is a solution-aware CTA pointed at a problem-aware buyer. They know the spreadsheet hurts; they do not yet believe software is the fix.
What it does to your KPI
Right now you are paying solution-aware CPAs for problem-aware clicks — expect the mismatch to show up as strong CTR and weak trial-start conversion. Fix the CTA weight and lead with the Sunday-night hook, and the same spend should buy meaningfully cheaper acquisitions. Re-roast before you scale it.
Andromeda
Scored against the algorithm that decides who sees it.
Meta's Andromeda retrieval engine reads the first 125 words of your copy and the first seconds of your creative to decide whether your ad ever reaches the auction. Most ads don't fail in front of people — they get buried before anyone sees them.
Every roast grades your creative against those retrieval signals — audience entities, creative similarity, hook timing — and tells you whether it survives, plainly: HIGH, MODERATE RISK, or LOW.